Oh my gosh y’all, I just had a hilarious experience and need to share it. My non-white partner and I were talking about an interaction we had in which I (a white person, incidentally) felt really attacked, got upset, and then realised what she meant and that she was totally right once she had made her point in a nicer way. We both apologised, me for not understanding sooner and her for not communicating in a direct and kind way at the start. I was feeling disproportionately guilty for my mistake but saying no it’s fine, I don’t need reassurance, I just need to move forward. “And I appreciate your calling me up to be better, and I need to just be able to hear it —”
“And I need to communicate better,” she said.
“Well, that would be nice, to be more direct, but I also need to work on being less sensitive and not tone police you.”
Except she was chewing gum at the time, and she said “What? Tumbleweed me? Is that like when you get upset and just roll away instead of engaging in a conversation?”
SO MY FRIENDS WE HAVE A NEW WORD.